“Would you still sleep with him if you knew he’d never call you again?” That was the question on my new roommate’s mind the morning after her housewarming party the night before. Despite the sting of her enquiry and that she was so quick to put me in my place, it didn’t quite come as a surprise to me that she’d popped that particular question. You see, the night before I’d found myself in a lip-lock with her rather charming stand-up comic-slash-actor-slash-electrician friend and she was concerned that I might have fallen for the funny guy and that perhaps I might think that I’m special to him.
Wow. If I hadn’t sized him up the moment he walked in the door I might have been hurt by what I’m sure she thought was a helpful hint. What she didn’t know is that I knew the second I’d seen him that he and I would be having some alone time later. I just had to play my cards right.
I learned quite quickly that he’d previously been an electrical engineer who happened to work with robots. So, a bit of a geek, then. I also learned that he’s a stand-up comic/actor. So, a bit of a show-off, then. The result of this combination is a late-blooming, yet attractive, charismatic man who’s eager for attention, praise and approval and all the while he’s humble in his pursuit. Putty in my hands!
Winning over this kind of man is as easy as winning over this kind of woman – The Game. Show him just enough attention that he’d think I could be interested then address his personal attributes in a backhanded way (ie You’re alright. You’re not the least attractive/funny/entertaining guy in the place). I think that’s actually what won him over. I simply didn’t swoon all over him. And in turn he was charming in his efforts to welcome me into their group. He was humble when his friends felt the need to share his filmography, he was sweet-funny not stand-up funny and it was very clear to me that flattering women isn’t something he struggles with.
In fact, before the lip-lock I’d watched him make his rounds sweet-talking several of the other lovely ladies at the party, then circling back to me and occasionally following me from room to room. I knew he wasn’t just interested in me, he was interested in any of the women in the room he hadn’t yet shagged. Since I definitely did (and still do) fall into that category and well, he wasn’t the least attractive/funny/entertaining single guy in the room, I didn’t really mind the attention.
So, when we stepped out onto the back patio, I knew what we were there for. We talked, we kissed and went back inside to the party. When it came time for the awkward goodnight, I took a beat in the basement and let him and is homies head home without a word. There was no need to make it more than it was. I didn’t and don’t need to know if he’s all that into me cause frankly, I just wasn’t that into him. I’d had a few hours of fun and that’s all I was after.
Here’s to a few more minutes of fun with some other hot TO totties!
I recently visited the very delicious Wellington Gastropub. I went with a friend for a special advance birthday dinner a deux. We drank a few glasses of wine in honour of #WineWednesday and indulged in a happy helping of some of their finest fare.
It really was fantastic! The best part was that the portion sizes are perfect for the Slimbandster. Just big enough that when you tell the wait staff you’re finished they actually believe you when you say it was delicious. All too often my servers think I haven’t enjoyed my meal because I’ve eaten less than half of what’s on my plate. Not this time! I even managed to save room for desert. A beautiful birthday dinner with a beautiful friend!
I’ve baked for most of my life. To pass the time, to find something to focus on, to calm my creative urges or simply because it was the fastest way to score something sweet for myself without having to leave the comfort of my home.
Last summer, before I started at my current job, I went through a phase of baking and decorating cupcakes. I’d follow every recipe to the letter and spend hours trying new ways to make them pretty. I loved it. It felt good to be creative. But it was like waving a liquor bottle under the nose of an alcoholic because I couldn’t actually eat them (at that point I was still adjusting to life after lap-band and could only manage to eat just one of my pretty presents in a day without a huge sugar rush and a very full tummy.)
So, instead of eating them or throwing them in the bin, I started baking batches of cupcakes and giving them away to friends and family instead. And I found that it felt great. I was happy baking, they were happy eating and I had no guilt whatsoever.
Yesterday was a hard day. One of the hardest I’ve had since I’ve been in Ottawa. To say I felt hopeless would be an understatement. And all I wanted to do was numb the pain. Normally I would eat or drink and I really didn’t want to do to much of either of those things because a) I was on my own and b) the guilt would simply add to the situation and I’d just end up in some kind of food-fueled self-destructive slump the next day.
So, in a strong effort to not allow myself to numb my pain with food, I decided to sip the recommended ‘one glass’ of red wine whilst baking my project team a pumpkin cheesecake. It kept me busy and shifted my focus away from eating and towards creating something special for some people I care about. And I felt a whole lot better.
It wasn’t until a friend asked me if I considered baking to be a coping mechanism that I actually realised it is. And it occurred to me that it always has been. Funny what a few things from a pantry can do for a heavy heart. Even if I don’t eat them myself.
OMFG if I hear one more positive effing message come from one more well-meaning but completely patronizing person I’m going to lose my shit! No joke. I’ve got no positivity left people.
After finally making a decision to commit to a life in Ottawa, I was told today that the organisation I’ve most recently been interviewing with has decided after 4 interviews (including a marketing plan and accompanying social media contest) that even though they’d ‘really like’ to hire me, they’re going to go with a reorg instead. And that I’m welcome to apply for the junior roles they’ve just added to their website.
What’s worse, is that this is actually the second major organisation I’ve interviewed with to make the same decision. On top of that, I went through 4 other interviews with another organisation only to hear I that I’m too senior for the job. I’ll wait while you take that in.
I’d hoped that after making at least one major decision, things would do what all the positive people say and start to finally come together. I’m doing literally everything I can to continue with a marketing career here in Ottawa. I’m applying for lower level jobs but they just don’t want me.
And ya know what I know? I know that something great is NOT right around the corner right now because I haven’t done anything to make anything else appear right around the corner ie. until last night I hadn’t applied for a single job in Ottawa since the one I just got rejected for.
So today, I would like to wallow for a change instead of pretending to be strong and smile my way through it and hold everyone else up through MY pain. I’m mad and frustrated and I’m allowed to feel this way.
I’ll get my groove back and I’ll be back on the affirmation train tomorrow – next stop right around the corner – but not today. Today, I’m going to sit in my swanky apartment and stare out the window while distractedly watching some cheesy chick flick and sipping the biggest bowl of red wine I can wrap my hands around. Just one. And I’m not gonna eat and maybe I’ll cry but I’m just gonna feel what I need to feel today.
So, I’ve been a bit busy lately and have been keeping my written rants and raves tucked neatly away in my lollipop. Although I’ve had loads to say I just haven’t really had the chance to type it all out. For my own self indulgence I feel the need to do a little brain dump so in the interests of keeping my blog brief yet informative, my musings will follow here in point form today.
Well, it’s Canada Day in the nation’s capital which makes it officially the best possible day of the year to live in O-Town. I’m super excited to head up to the Hill to see Hey Rosetta! and several other Canadian treasures entertain the masses decked out in their Canadian pride.
It’s been 3 days since my 2nd fill so I’m hoping I’ll be able to participate in all of the fantastic festivities without losing my lunch throughout the day. Haven’t had too much trouble getting down the grub since Monday. Been waking up feeling pretty tight and I can most certainly feel it when I’m stressed or anxious but other than that, it feels okay. I’m pretty pleased.
We’ll see what happens today. Looks like a fun one! Off to spend the day with some uni friends and can’t wait to see them! Then on to a big a Deadmau5 show thrown by none other than my coolest cuz. Guest list an’ all. Guess this town anit so bad sometimes! ;o)
Saw SATC2 this weekend with my Auntie. Loved it but the clothes were simply stupid most of the time. There were a few really great giggles but the accessories certainly stole the show thanks to what I’m guessing is a pretty big chunk of the $10M wardrobe budget. Yes, the clothes were gorgeous but the bags were better and I’m not even gonna get into the shoes. But I’m fairly certain there won’t be a repeat performance from the oh-so-fabulous foursome.
I did enjoy a tasty treat during my entertaining evening: a Diet Coke. I haven’t had a sip of the sweet stuff since before my surgery. I didn’t drink much but I also didn’t suffer from my sips and combined it with a little popcorn.
Much to my delight there were no gas pains or any tummy trouble. I don’t think I’ll be sipping some again anytime soon just in case. But it was a nice surprise to not get sick.
That being said, like the SATC girls, I guess I’ll continue to test the boundaries of my lifestyle until someone pans my performance!
Okay, it’s really been one hell of a week. In the past 7 days I’ve driven back and forth from Lindsay to Ottawa in 24 hours to move my brother and sister-in-law to town, had my first fill, realised I’m not at all restricted, drove to Toronto and back in 24 hours to see DMB, and now I’ve just found out that I’ve no longer got the financial safety net I’ve enjoyed since my surgery.
To say I’m stressed would be an understatement. I’m overwhelmed with a frustration I haven’t felt since Tantrum Tuesday. I was discussing my dismay with my Aunt this evening and her suggestion was to get drunk. Oh, how I’d love to be drowning my sorrows sipping on a super sized glass of my favourite vino rosa. But since I’ve got no money, I can’t drink.
And since I’ve got this effing band, I can’t resort to what I’d normally do when I find myself in a stressful situation such as this: stuff my face til I’m so full, the only pain I feel is my waistband digging into my big fat belly!
Well, I could go for the binge and test another boundary but only if I want to end up barfing which will neither solve my financial problems (food wastage is not smart when you don’t know where you’re next dime is coming from…and what if my band slipped??) nor numb the heartache and suffering my endless job hunting is causing. It’s just pointless to even try. But I want to, and bad.
And to be completely honest, I actually HATE living in Ottawa so that really doesn’t help the situation. Yeah, it’s a pretty city and my family lives here but it’s boring as EFF for a single woman such as myself that happens to be used to living life to the fullest in one of the world’s greatest cities. There’s really NOTHING cool about living here when you’re a chic city girl like moi. I’ve tried to keep an open mind but it just doesn’t measure up to what I’ve seen and done and the tradeoffs are starting to lose their lustre.
I don’t care if it makes me sound like a snob but I don’t actually know how people LIVE like this. I honestly feel like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama only I’m absolutely certain I’m not going to experience the awakening she feels where she remembers where she came from and decides Hicktown, USA ain’t so bad. Ottawa certainly isn’t a hick town but I want way too much more for myself, my life and my career than what Ottawa currently has to offer.
And the worst part is, I can’t get out of here until I get a job. I just feel so trapped!! I can see where I want to go but I just can’t get there. I want out of this box.
Well, a lot sometimes. It’s been a pretty busy couple days for me and it’s absolutely sweltering. Of all the times in my life that I feel fat, hot days are the worst. There are few things more unattractive to me on a hot day than my sweating self in the sunshine. My hair gets all frizzy, my face gets shiny and my makeup starts melting. Not a pretty picture.
Yesterday I decided to embrace the scorcher and went out in the evening to enjoy the weather with my cuz. After visiting his trio of tiny terrors (whom I love dearly!), we decided to hit the Royal Oak at Bank and McLaren and met up with a couple of old friends from my youth. One of these was a person, the other was a tall glass of very cold Boddington’s bitter. Cue ominous music here.
I know, we’re not supposed to drink beer. I’ve heard it many times. I’ve even felt the affects of why we shouldn’t drink beer. But like every bandster I’m testing my boundaries. I haven’t had a fill yet so I should technically be able to handle a brew or two until then anyway. And besides, Boddington’s is a bitter so there’s a heck of a lot less fizz to bother the band.
It was so great to catch up! It’s hard getting back in touch with old friends sometimes. The continuity isn’t there so it’s easy to lose the familiarity and intimacy of the friendship perviously shared and things can get awkward. But both of these friends were as charming and enjoyable as ever so I had no trouble catching up with the boy or enjoying the the beer (slowly!).
Old friends, great weather and a cold bitter in the pub are three great reasons to be living back in Canada.
I had a pretty fun-filled Friday this week. Babysat my little cuz when he was home sick from school. That kid’s always a delight even when he’s barfing. The day was a bit of a challenge though because my auntie’s house is quite rarely the home of healthy food. So, I did myself a favour and packed a can of Baxter’s Lentil & Bacon, some Mott’s Peach Medley and a tiny bit of the good stuff and went on my way.
I did quite well with the food and had no trouble at all getting any of it down. In fact the Peach Medley was an absolutely delight. I’m really not a big fan of applesauce or apple flavoured things so I pleasantly surprised to find such a tasty treat that was actually good for me and pretty-much Slimband approved (it’s applesauce so it’s approved right??).
Went out in the evening with some lovely ladies from back East.
Normally, it would have been quite a challenge for me to pace myself to ensure I didn’t eat myself out of my pants but we decided to go out AFTER dinner which worked out great for me. I had some green puree and headed down town.
I wasn’t sure how I’d cope with the consumption of alcohol what with my new tiny tummy and my complete lack of a carbohydrate cushion to absorb the copious amounts of alcohol I would normally consume on such an evening. But I did just fine. I opted for martinis (which I LOVE) to keep the volume low and since I don’t want encourage the vomiting I should be experiencing at this point in my lap-band journey, I took things very slow.
I was thoroughly enjoying my evening with my chums with it dawned on me that I’d actually eaten the cherries in the bottom of my cocktails. I honestly couldn’t believe I’d done it. It was so automatic to finish my drink and chomp down the cherry. I was pretty scared I’d be sick until I realised I’d eaten them more than a half an hour before.
So, for the first time in 14 days I ate something. And it felt pretty normal. Granted, I chewed it pretty thoroughly, I didn’t choke and I didn’t have any tummy trouble. What a relief! I guess I can add cherries to the list of foods I’m allowed to eat when I’m actually supposed to be eating! Until then, it’s back to mushy meals.
I’ve been to Cafe de Paris a few times but Cafe Rocks was one of the best nights of my life. I went with my favourite indie kids (The Brent Flood) so they could mee with some peeps from a label interested in signing them. They had four great warm-up bands on then Amerie performed her latest single since it was her single launch party. She was RIGHT beside me at one point. It was awesome.
No problems on the door for me but we arrived around 9pm which isn’t quite peak club time.
Since I was ‘with the band’ and the label was putting the night on, we were invited to the VIP section. We had the pleasure of enjoying the balcony and when the bar closed we found ourselves ushered into yet another VIP room downstairs in the back with it’s own bar and some really cool “beds”. Very plush! We literally partied ’til the sun came up. What a feeling leaving a club in the wee hours of daybreak.
My biggest complaint with this place is the price of drinks – £27 for a bottle of “house” wine. I’ve paid this in other clubs so I guess it’s normal by London club standards but that doesn’t mean I have to like it! It didn’t matter too much though because some business men from Dubai shared their MAGNUM of Grey Goose with us all night long.
I’d definitely hit it again.
I went to Dollar Grills & Martinis early on a Saturday evening for a special occasion meal and I was overwhelmed. First, it’s beautiful inside. The upstairs has gorgeous lighting and the seats were super comfy. The downstairs is very plush and would be a great spot for a cocktail on a date. It has little alcoves that offer the right amount of intimacy for a public place. ;o)
But it wasn’t the decor the sold me, it was the cocktails – A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I had the pleasure of enjoying (among others) the Porn Star Martini and to this day have not found a drink I enjoyed more than this one. I take great pleasure in telling people that this is my favourite drink!
We also had food and although at the time I thoroughly enjoyed my fish soup thingy, it was only good enough to be remembered as a fish soup thingy. The cocktails simply stole the show.
I would definitely go here again and have but only for drinks. I’ll have to try the burgers next time!
Strawberry Moons…everytime I hear the name of this central London haunt I have visions of My Little Pony’s frolicking through fluffy pink clouds. I’ve always wanted to check it out and last night I did.
The cue was reasonable, the doorman was cool and the price wasn’t too bad for a bar just off Regent Street.
Now, the tunes…the tunes were nothing short of perfect. All the cheese and some of the charts. It was grrreat! I think it may be my new favourite bar. However, it was absolutely packed and super hot. Not much room for “this is my dance space, this is your dance space” but we managed to dance our suitably refreshed butts off and had a great time.
If you’re looking for a club on a Saturday night, and you happen to be in the vicinity of the most whimsically named club this side of Regent Street, this one is well worth a look.
I met a boy this weekend. Yep, you heard right. I met a real live boy! (I’ll pause while you lean in closer to the screen.)Actually, I met an enormous (6 ft 4, 350lb) beast of a man that was hungry for a piece of me! (…and in more ways than one!) But don’t get too excited because although he seemed nice enough, sadly he won’t be visiting fair Croft HQ anytime soon.
It all started when he snatched a camera out of my hand, kissed me and pushed me into the picture. This was a bit of a shock but not entirely unusual behaviour for boys from The Swan. Then, he tried to buy me a drink (they didn’t have what I wanted), then he tried to talk to me (he ripped my hair out trying to get to my ear), and then he danced with me (this new fangled dance requiring little-to-no movement). But I figured that’s okay, when I could hear what he was saying he wasn’t too bad. That was until he tried to eat me!
Seriously, right there in the middle of the dancefloor he tried to eat my face! I thought I was going to need a complete run of cosmetic surgery to repair the mangled state of my mouth. This guy made a full on midnight snack out of me! He literally chewed my lips and I’m pretty sure he took a chunk out of my shoulder. So, what happened next? I ran. Fast.
Perhaps it was my chocolate scented perfume that made a taste of your’s truly seem
so difficult to resist (or perhaps not). But whatever it was, as you can plainly see I’m hardly quick snack for anybody!