Object of Your Rejection or How Sometimes A Girls Gonna Cry

OMFG if I hear one more positive effing message come from one more well-meaning but completely patronizing person I’m going to lose my shit!  No joke. I’ve got no positivity left people.

After finally making a decision to commit to a life in Ottawa, I was told today that the organisation I’ve most recently been interviewing with has decided after 4 interviews (including a marketing plan and accompanying social media contest) that even though they’d ‘really like’ to hire me, they’re going to go with a reorg instead. And that I’m welcome to apply for the junior roles they’ve just added to their website.

What’s worse, is that this is actually the second major organisation I’ve interviewed with to make the same decision. On top of that, I went through 4 other interviews with another organisation only to hear I that I’m too senior for the job. I’ll wait while you take that in.

I’d hoped that after making at least one major decision, things would do what all the positive people say and start to finally come together. I’m doing literally everything I can to continue with a marketing career here in Ottawa. I’m applying for lower level jobs but they just don’t want me.

And ya know what I know? I know that something great is NOT right around the corner right now because I haven’t done anything to make anything else appear right around the corner ie. until last night I hadn’t applied for a single job in Ottawa since the one I just got rejected for.

So today, I would like to wallow for a change instead of pretending to be strong and smile my way through it and hold everyone else up through MY pain. I’m mad and frustrated and I’m allowed to feel this way.

I’ll get my groove back and I’ll be back on the affirmation train tomorrow – next stop right around the corner – but not today. Today, I’m going to sit in my swanky apartment and stare out the window while distractedly watching some cheesy chick flick and sipping the biggest bowl of red wine I can wrap my hands around. Just one. And I’m not gonna eat and maybe I’ll cry but I’m just gonna feel what I need to feel today.